health, (More's own)
I never so much as heard of
Howe’s Treatise
on delighting in God – O give me a Book which will teach
me to do so! The very name gets one an Appetite, or rather makes
one long to get it. – Indeed I read little of Spiritual things, and of other things
scarcely one Word. I am something like a gouty or intemperate General
Officer, I am either in my bed or in the Field; pain and Action pretty equally
divide my life between them, with some preponderance, however, I thank God on
the latter side, but reading and writing are things almost as much out of the
question with me as with the poor savages I live with, for if I am well enough
to be up I am well enough to be out, in a general way.
Mrs. W
and all of you must have thought
me if not “rather a kind of imposter”, yet rather a kind of a brute not to have
written a word since we parted, so kind as you all were to me! But I know how
you are overdone with writing and I spare you every unnecessary
line.
To speak the truth I have been a little worked
myself and for the few last days
have been confined to my bed by one of my feverish colds; I am sitting up a
little to day but not in very good writing plight having a blister on my back as
broad as
little William’s face.
I wonder if I shall ever see that said little William? –
To thank you over-warmly for your feeling and affectionate letter
would be to imply that it was possible I coud have suspected your large
liberality and considerate kindness
.
I shall obey you by
dedicating
Mrs. Barnards
kind
legacy to the purchase of a post Chaise, and her Annuity to the maintaining
it
. I
hope I shall keep within the limits of your
allowance. Any two periods of the year it will be the same to me to receive it.
Christmas and Midsummer are my usual grand seasons, but if a Month or two or
three later will suit you better, I can manage as I shall have some money of my
own to take.
An
inflammation in my eyes making a part of my indisposition compells me to end
–
I write a few lines to thank you for your kind solicitude about me,
when you yourself were probably suffering so
much more.
Mrs. R. T.
confirms the
account of your very oppressive cold, Which I hope /will be removd by/
the blessing of God on this fine change in the
weather,
for it is now raining green pease and goosebery
Tarts: and our grass, which on Sunday was as brown as a Mat is now as green as an
Emerald.
I thank God my
fever has given way and I am again much better, tho I had an ague fit the night
before last, as I generally have on every change of
weather. I heartily rejoyce at
the improvd account of
Mr.
T.
Lady Waldegrave who spent a long day
here Yesterday
(which prevented my
writing)
thinks he looks tolerably. In addition to her
heavy sorrows,2 she is now involv’d in two or three /law/ suits which are
this moment trying at Our Assizes, and in which, as her Antagonist (her late
Steward) a friend of
Mr. Bere’s3
a deep
designing Man has made a party against her, I fear she will be cast. Every thing
however which relates to money is a trifle compared with her other causes of
sorrow.4
This is my first
letter since my visitation. – not but that I could write, for
my Sword Arm escaped the
fire.
But
thro’ the extreme and undeserved kindness of my friends, I suppose there have
been not much less than a hundred letters of inquiry to answer, and tho it sadly
overloads
P. who is not well and assisted by
S – yet I forbear writing to those to whom
I wishd that I might conscientiously say I had written to none – this has given
me a little time for my other business.
I have generally managed in the same way with
visitors, which I believe includes every creature /(visitible)/ within ten
Miles, so that having so good an excuse I have rather gained time than
lost.
How mercifully have I been dealt with! and how often has that promise
occurred to me –
‘When thou passest thro the fire’
&c!
I often wonder I was not more overcome with
terror at seeing myself one Sheet of flame.
Miss
Roberts’s
grievous wounds, for she was entirely burnt from her
wrists to her fingers ends and was obliged to have her ring filed off, are
healed sooner than my slight ones.
– My shoulder and Arm only were burnt, not a
single thread of the Sleeve of my Chemise remained; it is however at present
only an inconvenience, and not a suffering – I cannot yet put on a gown – but it
is nothing more.
Allow me to offer You
a plain and simple, but sincere and cordial assurance of my gratitude for the
great honour you have done me, and the great gratification you have given me, by
your elegant and beautiful
Poem
*. Tho I feel myself, (and
there is no affectation in declaring it) very unworthy of the kind and flattering
things it contains, yet I feel a considerable addition of pleasure in perusing it,
from the idea that it is your approbation of the serious Spirit in
the little work*
which you are so good to commend which disposes You to overlook any defects in the
composition; defects multiplied by bad health which
indisposes, and partly incapacitates me from correcting coolly, tho it does not
yet always prevent me from writing rapidly, and therefore I fear,
carelessly.
Now for the reason why I did not write on Saturday –
Since you left us I have
had and still have, a most severe bilious attack which I am thankful waited your
departure before it appeared, as
I should have been grieved to
have lost any of the little time in which I was within reach of enjoying your
Society.
I feel quite thankful that I was enabled to keep us so stoutly while you were
with us,
as I have fallen back into my
natural, that is my bad state ever since.
I am however better to day;
I fancy I
feel more thankful for a day’s ease and a night’s rest than those can do whose days
and nights suffer no such interruptions. Yet I am conscious of not feeling half
grateful enough for the unnumbered and undeseved [sic] mercies I enjoy.
I feel the benefit of this dry Air and have suffered less and
Slept more since the frost, severe as it is, set in. My love to
your fair Companion
My Sisters present best respects
When I get a good day, which is not often that [tear] fair and alluring
vision of
Brampton Park dances before my
eyes and
P. and I actually ta[lk] [tear] of
plans and measures. Should this favorite pray[er] be realized I
think we should, with submission to /the will of/ a higher power manage to be with
you the middle of May at farthest. Remember that I Visit you on an
Apostolic principle
seeking not
yours but you*. So dont be anxious about company.
I this moment receive your too kind letter, and tho it is late, and tho it is not
a
writing day,* and
tho I have been
so unusually ill the whole week,
I could not sleep if I
did not send you a line. I cannot express the vexation the mortification, I feel
at your not having got
the book
from me.
* I
directed not
Hatchard, but
Cadell the Publisher
who is always the dispenser of presents because they are sent a few
days before publication to send one the very first hour to
Bruton Street – and you have not had it
– I should have ordered it to
Huntingdon
with the Bishop's but you my dearest Lady preferred your town House. Such a
thing ought not to vex me so much as it does. If you do not find it
in Bruton Street – which you will be charitable enough to tell me, I will order
Hatchard
/Cadell/ to send you the very first of the 2d. Edition,
which as the delay has been already so great will I hope put you in possession
of a more correct copy. Believe me, it is not that I overrate the Book, by
laying so much stress on this disappointment, but that I cannot bear the
suspicion of neglect, where both my affections, my esteem and my gratitude are
equally concerned.
With such a provision as you have furnished for my body and
mind, added to my many mercies, I must not complain of solitude and silence,
for tho I have been so ill the last ten days as
scarcely to be able to see any body, much less to talk to them I can
read and drink Soda, two luxuries which so many invalids have not, or
having, cannot enjoy.
Being to day under the disqualifying dominion of
Calomel*, I can only write a hasty line on the principal
topics of your little /but/ kind letter.
As far
as two sickly human beings can venture to determine,
P. and I hope to appear to you at
Brampton Park by the
middle of May;
but
the precarious state of
my eldest
Sister
adds to our uncertainty, tho she is much
/better/
Such a nice, long and truly interesting letter as you sent me had a claim to earlier
notice. But even now I must rather be contented to thank you for it than to answer
it. I have had a severe attack of
illness. To others it would have been but a
cold, to me it
has been a bad-ish
fever. I am so far on the recovery as to
sit up. But I am so thankful to quit my bed that I am satisfied to keep my room
which I however hope to leave in a few days
If I can get rid of my
cough
P. and I are engaged to go to our dear
Dean of Wells about the 29th., being there we
must also acquit ourselves of a long promise to stay a little with
the Bishop. there will be a little difference in these
Visits!!
Mr.
Way
I trust will not be likely to come just at
that time as it is the only time I shall be from home. Indeed the Dean I believe
will be of
the Jew party at
Bristol
.
Tho this sickness has separated me from
my Apostle,
I shall conclude in his words
by recommending you and yours to God and the word of his
Grace
. I am with true affection ever my dearest Lady O
–
faithfully yours
HM
Tho I have nothing /to say,/ and am not well
enough to say it if I had, I cannot forbear writing a line
to unite in sympathy with you, on the, I fear hopeless, state
of our dear invaluable
Henry
Thornton
*, a letter from
Mr. Wilberforce
* and another from the
Macaulays last night, leaves us little or
nothing to hope. Oh! what a chasm will his death make in the world! It will not
only be irreparable to
his broken hearted
wife
, and poor children*, but
to multitudes of the poor and the pious.
May God comfort us all,
especially his own family, and sanctify to us this heavy loss, by quickening
us in our preparation for our own great change!
For my own part,
my hopes have been long very faint, tho in opposition to the declaration of his
eminent Medical Attendants* I shall always think /
entre nous/ that corroding grief for
his unfortunate brother preyed on his
vitals, and laid his weak constitution open to any disease which might attack
it:
I dread that every post may bring us the final issue
of this long disease
!
I long to know how your health /is/ and whether you
have gained strength by living quietly at home.
– I have had
an
Ophthalmia
* most suffering. If all the dispensations of God
were not just and right, I should have said it came unseasonably when I had so
much [tear] for my eyes. I bless God they are
[tear] to me, after being consigned for some time to
darkness and idleness.
Tho I sent you a few days ago a longer letter than I write to any
body else, yet I thought you would wish to hear from me on a Subject so
interesting to you.
The day after
Mr.
Hodson
got my letter he and
his pupil presented themselves in the morning and spent
the day here. With the latter I had only general intercourse, my chief
object with him being to make myself as pleasant as my state of health
allowed, and to remove any prejudice he might have entertained of
my being severe and dictatorial. While I sent him walking and talking with
young Gisborne, I took the Tutor into my room for a
couple of hours. I will as nearly as I can recollect, tell you our chief discourse.
His first endeavour has been /not/ to give him any disgust, but to gain his
affection. He finds him conformable and complying with his injunctions, but not in
habits of application, or much given to reading He is more anxious at first to bring
him to stated habits and a regular disposition of time than to force too much
reading upon him till he discovers more liking to it. At half past 8 he gives him,
I
think about a dozen verse of
the Greek Testament to study and meditate
upon alone. At Nine he sets him to construe those passages to him and after
they have discussed the Greek in a literary and grammatical point of view, he then
expounds them to him spiritually and Theologically: then their devotions and a
little walk before breakfast. I suggested that as he is inclined to sit over his
Meals that a short thing, a medium sort of reading such as a paper in
the
Rambler
* might be
well taken up. His Mornings are at present engaged with
Quintilion whom
they study /both/ separately and together. I ventured to give my opinion that as he
would fill a great station in the world, and was not much addicted to study it might
be well to endeavour to imbue his mind with general knowledge such as would
be useful in life, and to allure him to the perusal of history and Travels; to make
him learn a passage from
the Orations of Demosthenes or Cicero, in the
Greek & Latin and then to translate and recite them in English, and to labour
after a good manner of recitation. Mr.
H. told me, and Mr. S. himself told
my
Sisters
that they had spent their time in the most trifling manner at
Harrow, and that very little was required
of them there. In consequence Mr. H says his habits of conversation are too
frivolous, horses &c &c being the favorite theme. Before evening prayer Mr. H. reads and again expounds Scripture. This he
says is all the formal religious instruction he gives, for he /is/
afraid to weary him, but he tries to make their walks, their common reading
instructive. I insisted much on the necessity & importance of this, knowing it
is the best way to mix up instruction with the common pursuits of life. They
sometimes dine and drink tea out, but as it is in correct and pious company, I
thought it better for his youth than to be confin’d to a tete a téte always with his
Tutor. The latter likes his young friend who has yet given him not the
slightest cause of complaint.
Conceiving that you will be glad to hear from time to time a word from me respecting
your Son, I resolve to scribble a line, tho yesterday was a peculiarly bad day.
Mr. Sparrow
his Tutor and
Mr. Hensman
spent a long day here lately.
I took Mr. H. as usual into my room; we had a very long discussion, and I required an explicit
account of their goings on, which he very minutely gave me. I have the satisfaction
of reporting that every thing seems very promising; if the improvements are not rapid
they are at least progressive. At my request he has begun to attempt composition.
He reads
Watts’s Logic*and Mr. H. makes observations on their joint perusal both of that and whatever else they
read together. As the days lengthen he rises earlier which gives him more time for the
Greek Testament before breakfast. He is translating some passages from
Demosthenes* which will help to form his Style. I suggested that here after he should learn and
recite some fine passages in
Burke’s Speeches.*
He reads by himself more than he did, and I lent for that purpose
Plutarch’s Lives
;* and
Travels thro Germany
.* I have also presented sent him with
the Saint Paul of Barley Wood
,* which he has promised to read; I told him that being written by one who had the honour
to be his Mother’s friend, it might interest him more. Mr. H. says that tho he cannot say he sees as yet any decided piety, yet he has great pleasure in seeing that he [has] not the slightest prejudice
against religion or religious people. This is /a/ great point for ‘a
Harrow fellow’.* But what I rejoyced at as the most gratifying circumstance, was that he told me he
possessed great purity of mind. This is a blessed thing at an age when boys have commonly
their minds tainted.
May God’s blessing preserve it to him! I think
Clifton a very fortunate situation for him. I think now he is getting a step towards manhood
he would hardly endure the dullness & total want of society of an obscure Village,
where he woud probably be too solitary, or led into inferior company. Now at Clifton
their little social intercourse is entirely among religious, and well mannered people,
and his Sunday’s Instruction sound and good. It was Providential for poor distressed
Hensman to get Hudson to fill at once the Niche so fortunately vacated by
Cowan,* or he might have forced himself into it again at his return. There appears to subsist
a pleasant affection and confidence between the Tutor and Pupil and Hensman says the
latter has easy access to his house where he often calls, and where he will get nothing but good. I have said so
much about this interesting youth that I have left myself no room for other Subjects.
Death has again been thinning the ranks of my beloved friends.
Mrs. Porteus
has followed
her dear Bishop, I trust to the land of everlasting rest. She was to me a faithful and attached friend
for 35 Years, and one of that sure and steady character that, in that long period,
I never experienced from her a wry word; /or a cold look. I always spent June with them./
She had been thro life the healthiest Woman I ever knew, and her fine person and sound
health gave you no idea of age.
She taken, and I spared! Such is the dispensation of infinite wisdom!
You are very good to express so kind a wish to see us at
Brampton. Few things would give us more pleasure. But I really think home is the only place for invalids, tho the sick in general seem to act on the direct contrary principle But there is
another reason – we have already refused some invitations, to travel with /some/ friends and to go to meet others. Among the latter dear
Mrs. H. Thornton
* wished us to join her at
Malvern in case she should be able to go. It was with reluctance I was obliged to say I feared
we should not be able to accomplish it; tho, her sad situation considered, if we did
any thing, it ought to be with a view of seeing her. Notwithstanding her Christian
exertions,
every letter from her seems to wear a deeper shade of woe.
But to return for one moment to
your Bible Gala – How I should have
delighted to have made an unworthy guest at this hallowed festival! What did
your Neighbour say to your muster roll
of Peers and Peeresses? What honour would he have done himself by joining it! A
propos of Bible Meetings – Our excellent
Bishop of
Gloucester
rode over
Mendip one
broiling Morning to invite
P. and I to spend the
week at
Wells and attend
a B. Meeting at
Glastonbury of which he is
President
.
I should have liked it much but we
were to
/expecting/ Wilberforce at home, who after all never came till it was
over.
I regretted it the less as the Assembly met in the Abbot’s
Kitchen of that vast and venerable ruin; which was damp and dreary.* What a contrast between the good cheer once proposed on
this now deserted spot and the holy purpose to which it was on this day dedicated!
Tho my own health has rallied much from the dry
Atmosphere of this pleasant Summer, I have declined all visits, but believe I
must go next week to the two Bishops at Wells if P. is better.
Her health I fear is declining, and she thinks /ill/
of herself.
I pray God to avert this blow.
In spite of all my endeavours to avoid it by giving no invitations, and
returning no visits, we are sadly overdone with company
but as every
body is gone or going to
France* I suppose we shall live to pine in Solitude
Your letter affords so little hope of the continuance of
her earthly existence that
I
think there is more true kindness in writing to you, as are without any
expectation as to this world, than to labour to administer false
comfort
; to do this would not be doing justice to your
strength of character and to the lessons of wisdom you have been so long imbibing.
Who knows but your obvious submission to the Divine hand which has inflicted these
heavy strokes may not help to confirm these principles of Christian piety
/with/ which
Mr
Penington’s
* mind seems penetrated.
God grant that the
convictions of this estimable Man may end in a sound conversion!
What
joy would this give, not only to the Angels in heaven but to the two happy Spirits
who may soon be united to that blessed Society. I do love this Penington. I cannot
say what a gratification it would be to me to be with you. It is for my own sake I
wish it, that I might learn how to die. But my own infirm
health, and still more that of
Patty would make us a burthen instead of a
comfort.
With such comforts indeed you are far more
richly provided. I cordially rejoyce that you are inclosed with such a circle of
such friends, and that those amiable and excellent
Inglis’s are about to be added. My affectionate love to the patient
Sufferer. I am more disposed to ask comfort from her than to offer it
to her.
do come, a long way commonly, we cannot send them off with the lye – not at home.
As to health I am the best of a bad
bunch.
Sally has good days, but
P. I fear is very declining – constant fever yet she
is always employ’d
and I believe
Dorcas* never made so many Garments. Indeed the poor [final section
of letter has been cut away]
We have lately had a visit from
Mr. Wm. Parnell
,* a most sensible and I believe pious Man
; he seems to have taken a deep interests in the improvement of
Ireland, and to be thoroughly acquainted with the existing state of things. I am expecting
him again before he returns. He speaks most highly, that is more justly, of our friend
Daly. I hope e’re this you have made your visit to
Dublin and the Environs. I want you much to see my very interesting friends in that district.
Pray my kindest remembrances to
Mr. Dunn
when you encounter him either by pen or person.
My poor Sister
Sarah we fear is far gone in a
dropsy!
the others poor invalids.
I think I am rather the best of a bad bunch. Love to dear
Millicent.
I commend you to God and the word of his grace
the Apostolic benediction.
*
I am afraid you have thought me very
/un/kind, and indeed appearances are much against me. But besides the
overwhelming press of letters which always causes my answers to come slowly,
I have been for near a Month
very ill with a wearing fever, and am only beginning to recover a
little; this has put me much in arrears both in business and
in friendship
I trust you will pardon my long delay in answering your kind letter. It has
arisen from a variety of causes;
when I received it
I was very ill of a bilious
fever,
my two
Sisters
were confined at the same time, and we had nobody living down stairs for near
three weeks
. I am much
better, but still an invalid, chiefly from want of sleep.
Patty has a complaint on her
chest, and constant fever, and is forbidden to talk
, and
poor
Sally is in a deplorable
condition. The dropsy is fallen on her legs which are much in the same condition
that
carried off my /last/
Sister
.
All this is depressing to my
Spirits I pray God to support them and me during the short remainder of our
pilgrimage.
In the intervals of sickness and other engagements I
have been called upon to write a number of
little papers and Tracts
with a view to furnish some little antidote to the poison of disaffection and
Sedition with which too many of the lower class are infected.* I did not at first
acknowledge myself the Author but I was found out. Seeing it could not be concealed
I have now called them
Cheap Repository Tracts.
I have given them to
Hatchard who will be glad to serve you with as much
of these penny wares as you chuse; and pray recommend them to your friends for
dispersion among the common people,
the Songs are only three Shillings a
hundred. New Tracts a penny /each/
The Bishop and Mrs. Ryder have very cordially pressed us to go soon to them, but notwithstanding all
my bragging just now, I feel as if I should not [v]isit [tear] any more but be satisfied with seeing my
friends at home. For tho I am tolerably well myself, my Sisters are but poorly, and we h[ave] [tear] not slept from home since this time twelvemon[th] [tear] when
we were at
Wells.
George Sandford told me that the Bishop had invited him to meet you there, and that Mrs. R. who knows that her house and beds, have limits said, ‘he has asked ten already.’
Dont mention this. She doubtless wished to keep the party smaller and more select.
My poor health must
plead my apology for my long silence; and a complaint in my eyes must excuse
the shortness of my letter.
I cannot
however longer restrain the desire I have to send you my cordial congratulations on
the happy prospect of your dear
daughter’s union
with a
Man so every way worthy of her. Your
character of
Mr. Welby
is most
interesting; and pleases me so much that I am much disposed to be
Felicia’s rival and to fall in love with him myself. It
is indeed a serious blessing to unite her to a man who is likely to promote her
happiness in both /worlds/ and who will attend to her immortal interests as
well as to her present comfort. May God bless them!
Two mornings successively I have set aside for
answering your letter with one or two others,
but
from breakfast till now when the dinner is almost ready, I have had a number
of visitors one after another till I lost my patience as well as my
time
. However tho I have lost a few minutes (for an inflammation in my
eyes prevents my doing any thing by candle light) I snatch up
my pen, as perhaps you may be waiting for an answer respecting
Mr.
Coan, thus he spells his
name.
* I am however not well qualified to give an opinion
as I do not know him at all. I believe him to be a very pious young /man/ of the
Calvinistic
School
. But he is an Irishman with all the warmth
and impetuosity of his country. I should be grieved to say any thing that might be
injurious to a deserving Man but it /is/ my private opinion that he would not be
well calculated for the temperate zone of
Clapham. He has got
himself into two or three little scrapes and tho I really am inclined to think
he was not the aggressor yet the habit of getting into scrapes
generally indicates the want of a cool temper. If
Clapham was
an obscure Village I should not have said a word of this, as few villages are
perhaps better supplied but he does not stay long in a place I observe. I should
/think him/ not fit for so enlightened –
Patty would say critical congregation as Clapham. Pray
present my best regards to
Mr. Daltry
*
and tell him I begin to fear I must wait till we meet in a better world before I
shall /enjoy/ that long indulged wish of making his acquaintance
I entertain better hopes as to seeing you and
your admirable friends
if it please God to spare me till the Summer I
beg my most affectionate respects to them and love to dear
Lucy who is to be of the
Barley
Wood
party.
Your extreme true kindness in
writing me so affectionate a letter,
when dear
Lucy was so ill
was gratifying to
me.
I have now heard from
Mrs. Macaulay
that she is doing well,
but that
you are under some anxiety for the valuable health of
Mrs. Inglis
. This gives me great concern
which I am sure you will remove, if you can, by informing me that she is better. Her
life is so important not only to the more intimate companion of her joys and
sorrows, but to all
his adopted family that I
cannot think of any serious illness befalling her without taking the deepest
interest in it. I have frequently lamented that one of the
worst effects of sickness or sorrow is, that it is apt to induce selfishness,
but on this occasion I have not realized my own idea.
I have received about a hundred letters full of
kindness and condolence, and many of them, of piety – but I have felt myself
utterly unable to answer them – You will be so kind as make this true apology to
any friends who may think themselves neglected.
My health has been very bad, and neither
body or mind has yet made much progress, the former I hope is most in fault, for
I bless God my mind is I trust unrepining and
submissive,
but it is still very weak. I am forbid by my
Doctor to see company, for which I am
thankful as
I have no heart to see any but two or
three particular friends in my own room – for talking brings back the
complaint in my chest.
Your excellent
Mr. Dealtry
kindly
promises to come to see me from
Bath
– I hope it will not be
till I am much better, as I should be sorry to see him only for an
hour in my chamber which is all I can yet do. It is grievous too
that
Lord and
Lady
Teignmouth
should be at
Clifton at this time –
It is many years that we both looked forward to seeing those dear
friends for a few days, and [deletion] now I can so little profit by their
neighbourhood is painful to me.
I hope to hear from you at your leisure
especially till Mrs. I. is
better
.
Mrs.
Macaulay
and
Selina kindly
promise to come to relieve my Solitude soon
–
My complaint in my eyes must
apologize for this scrawl – This complaint is doubtless sent as a fresh weaning
and warning. The sight is not affected, thank God. – We can pray
for each other, and prayer is one of the last Offices of friendship – Dear
Patty had long been much in prayer, and thought (tho she
never owned it to me) that her summons was at no great distance. May we all be
united to her and your beloved parents in God’s own time
Take notice I write upon your information for I have not yet seen the Sermon in
question. I have had much anxiety on the subject of
Mrs. Inglis
. Her life is so valuable that one cannot
think without deep concern of any thing likely to affect it. I beg my kind regards
to them both, and tell
Mr. Inglis
how much I felt the sympathizing kindness of
his affectionate letter
.
I am now beginning to answer with my own pen a few of the
overflowing number I have received. I have deeply felt the affectionate kindness
of many though I have not been able to acknowledge it.
My eyes are better, but I am not
yet able to use them by candle light, which now fills a large portion of ones
time.
Mrs.
Macaulay
and her daughter* who have been with me near a Month
have most kindly supplied my lack of sight.
Alas! it is Newspapers
that now fill too much of ones time and thoughts. I tremble for our country
politically and morally. I do not know my own nation we certainly are
not that England I once knew, and must always love. I look to
the death of
the king as the completion of our calamities
.
Rivington has asked leave to collect into
a [tear]le cheap
book the Tracts and ballads agai[nst] [tear] Se[dition] [tear] and blasphemy I
wrote in the last year or two, as they will now come from the Organ of
Orthodoxy,
I hope they may make their way,
you must recommend the
dispersion of them to all who come in your way
I shall
order one to be sent to
Mr.
Inglis
.*
Two such very very kind and interesting letters merit to be acknowledged with a gratitude proportionate
to their value.
Thank you cordially for the account of
your Royal Society. I delight in the prospect of improving good in the amiable character of the Duke.
you fill me with a hope of his growth in piety.*
His Mother had a strong friendship for me I always saw a great deal of her when in town, and
in a long illness when I was not able to answer her, she never failed to write to
me every week.* I have received a very sensible and rather pious letter from
Princess Sophia just now.
* I believe both brother and Sister want only right Society and Christian friends to
make them all we could wish. [Two lines of deletion]
My health improves a little, but I still chiefly confine myself to my chamber for
a pretence to avoid an influx of company.
In my room I receive my particular friends.
Yesterday
Lady Lilford and her excellent daughters came.*
Miss Emily spoke with delight of her visit to Brampton –
Dear
Lewis Way made me a long visit. He was delightfully entertaining with his Imperial communications
,* his sanguine, not hopes, but certainties, of the near approach of the last days.
While he is talking in his heaven /ly/ anticipations, sanguine as he is, one cannot help adopting his views, and hoping
as he hopes. He has preached twenty Sermons and Speeches within a week or two!! At
Bristol my friends say he was almost superhuman.* He kindly pressed me to go and spend the Winter at
Stanstead,* as
Mr. Harford
has done to pass it at
Blaise Castle – but for old age sickness and sorrow there is nothing like home –
Every paper I open of
my blessed Sister raises my ideas of her piety.* It is plain that she had expected her great change, for in her Pocketbook for this
year,* she writes, 'this is the last account book I shall ever want'! she also says, – 'May
every Year’s charities increase as becomes a Christian woman'! A few hours before
her death when in exqui[site] [tear] pain, she said, on some one pitying her – [tear]
I love my sufferings, they come from the [tear] and I love every thing that comes
from him’. In her delirium she was always giving away cloaths or Shoes to poor Men
and Women; tho this was in her wanderings, it showed the habit of her mind. I never
knew a more devoted self denying creature.
I am still at the end of two Months a close prisoner in my chamber.
My Medical friend will not allow me to quit it till the weather changes. My most affectionate love to
Miss S.
Many thanks for your very kind affectionate
letter
.
It is not,
I assure from want of regard that you do not hear from me oftener, but from
causes not under my controul
. You know perhaps that I have been confined
to my room, with one fever succeeding another for more than a year and half, and
these few last Months, in which I have been so much better, have yet been so
unlike Summer weather that I have not yet been allowed by my
Doctor to take an airing in the
carriage.
I have however I am thankful
to say been able to receive a great many kind friends in succession in my room,
and indeed I have had almost too many affectionate guests, as much exertion is
bad for my chest
.
The great loss
to me with respect to my particular friends is that I have such an overwhelming
correspondence, applications &c from strangers or slight acquaintance that
those I best love are most neglected by me. You among many others have come in
for a share of this neglect, which however by no means includes
forgetfulness.
I have lost
my amiable Secretary* for a few weeks.
My health is very far from being perfectly restored,
nor is it perhaps good for me that it should. I am in the best hands, and desire
only an entire submission to his will. I am very much better than there was any
prospect I should ever be
I wrote to the dear
Viscountess* as soon as I saw by the papers the happy event* had taken /place./ but as I directed it to
Brampton Park she may not yet have received it. My heart was with you too my dearest lady but a return of illness has put me back in my most interesting duties. It was an attack
brought on by my being overdone with business, brot. on me by the distress of a relation, whom I have put myself to no small inconvenience
to assist. – I am still very weak & feverish.
What is become of you? Where are you? What are you doing? It would indeed be more
‘germain to the Matter’ to put these interrogations to me,
as I have long been in your debt for a
delightful letter
. There is another reason for your not
asking where I am, as I am sure to be found in the bow
window in my bed chamber. It is now about two years since I have been down
stairs, and I think four years and a quarter since I have been in any house
besides my own. It is not at present that my locomotive powers are not equal to
travel down stairs, but that this unmannerly summer – as
Charles Hoare calls it, made my good
Dr. Carrick
order me to run no risque.
I have however a pleasant prison, and am not anxious for a jail delivery.
My health is much /better/ ,
thro the great mercy of God, than there was any human probability
would ever be the case; with frequent solitary interruptions of bad nights.
This is necessary to remind me that this is not my rest, and that this short
reprieve is granted me for the great work of repentance and
preparation.
I see a good deal of company in the middle of the day, too
much my Doctor thinks, but have yet had no one to sleep but the
Hoares,* and another friend.
But the
Post occupies and fatigues me much /more/ than my guests.
If you saw my table most days, you would think, if I were not a Minister of State,
I
was at least a Clerk in a public Office and these pretty businesses it is,
that so often prevent my writing to those
dear friends with whom it would be my delight to have more
intercourse
I find however a good deal of time to work
with my hands, while
Miss Frowd reads
for the entertainment of my head. The learned labours of my knitting
Needle are now amassing to be sent to America to the Missionary Society* who sell
them there, and send the produce to the
Barley Wood School at
Ceylon
.* So you see I am still /good/ for something.
I am thankful to say that my health is greatly
improved. If I were a disciple of
Prince
Hohenloe
* it would be called a Miracle.
I do not go out, but am able to see my friends. Indeed my
excellent Physician finds fault that I see too much
company, but I cannot well avoid it, tho I suffer upon it
.
I hope you will
recommend my friend
Cottle’s
‘Plymouth Antinomians’*. It ably exposes the worst heresy that ever
infected the Church.
I have been above a year and half confined to my room. I bless God I do not feel any
impatience to quit it, which they will not allow me to do till the warm weather is
confirmed. I am generally able to see my friends two or three hours in the middle
of the day. They are very kind, but my Physician complains that I see too much company.
This is sometimes the case, but when they come from a distance, I cannot refuse seeing
them; I have /had/ no one to dinner or sleep.
The Bp of Gloucester indeed is a privileged person. If any do come My friend entertains them below.
I am rather more than usually unwell to day, but I would no longer delay to intreat
you my dear Lady to think no more of my little begging petition. If any apology were
necessary your immense building expences would be more than sufficient, but none is necessary.
I have just received my little legacy from Mrs. Garrick* which will carry me thro’ the exigencies of the present season sufficiently, and
I may not live to another.
Your charities are too extensive to excuse any one from proposing new ones to you;
Even in my little way I find five applications for one I used to have, what then must yours be!
You are become a good creature, to be so considerate as not to wait for an answer,
which my heart is more ready to make than my hand.
Thank God I am just now tolerably well, but I have been
much otherwise on the whole.
I have however had some occasional good days, on which I have seen, what my
kind Doctor thinks too much
company
I am still at the end of two years and half a prisoner in my chamber,
but still thro the mercy of God, at times tolerably well,
and commonly (but not always) able to see my friends in a
Morning.
As for me it has pleased infinite Wisdom to take from me all the companions of
my early and middle life, and to leeve [sic] me to finish my journey alone. It
is remarkable that I, the youngest but one, and the most unhealthy of my whole
family sh[o]uld survive them all.
My sufferings have been great, but
my mercies have been far greater. It is two years and a half since I have been
down stairs, and four Years since I have been in any other house; but tho I
still continue liable to frequent attacks of fever, I am on on the whole far
more recovered than it was thought I ever could be.
I see my friends in the morning and enjoy their
Society
. At my time of life and with my battered constitution I cannot
last long; but I am in the best hands, and I have long prayed to have no will of my
own
Tho’ after a bad
night I am hardly able to hold a pen, I cannot let the post go without a
line
. Would that my most cordial
Sympathy could be any comfort to you and dear
Henry. You do not however want human consolation, you both deserve
it from a higher Source. What a comfort to your dear brother to feel that he has in
no degree contributed to the misfortunes by which he is so severe a sufferer.*
May he may derive [sic] no small comfort from that goodness of God
which enables him to act with such pure integrity and to submit with such
Christian resignation to events which he could neither prevent nor
correct
.
I shall most gladly
receive you both, the change will do you good
. I am glad you talk of a
fortnight hence,
as I am to have a set of holiday folks,
whom I have promised and cannot put aside
. On the 27 I shall be most
happy to receive you both with your merry young One – I hope this may suit you – Do
write again – You are in my heart and in my prayers –
You will see /by/ my
scrawl that I cannot recover the free [use] of my hand, I cannot use it with
impunity. I hope yourself and family
continue to enjoy health and all other needful blessings My own health is so far restored that if I were a disciple of
Prince Hoenloe I shall be reckoned a
Miracle
How shall I sufficiently thank you for your very great kindness in sending me such
a bountiful supply. I had not reckoned on so large a Sum, and it will set me at ease
as to some excesses into which I have been almost irresistibly drawn.
I must /have/ contracted some of my concerns if I were younger; but
never reckoning upon another year I do not think it right to distrust Providence by
abridging my little Schemes
– Little indeed compared to the ample extent of Yours. Only think of the graciousness
of God to give you the heart as well as the means to educate, and thus rescue from ignorance, and as far as human exertion can go,
from Sin, every child in your Parish! under your own immediate /Eye/ too! Oh The Magnitude of the good cannot be estimated. But oh to anticipate those cheering
words
Well done good and faithful Servant, enter Thou into the joy of the Lord!*
If I were not on the very verge of Eternity, I should earnestly request (what I dare
not now give you the trouble) for a copy of your plans, as I know all yours are will
digested; but
I shall never again visit my schools (which are unfortunately at a distance)* Yet
my young /Friend/ does what she can, and visits them when the weather permits, and I should be gratified
to furnish her with any instructions of yours.
Her heart is much in the business. She has a cultivated & pious Mind
It is now six Years since I have been down stairs, yet I never had more cases, more
business, more company, and I have been better than usual for some weeks
Nothing should have caused me to /delay/ thanking you for your very interesting and kind letter but
a painful disorder in my eyes, not the sight but lids. For these 8 Weeks I have not read as many pages, and I ought not to write. When my eyes are better I hope to say more, and express my /interest in/ all your concerns, as nothing that relates to you can be indifferent to me.
Your last letter afforded considerable relief to my mind. Perhaps it may afford a
little to your mind to hear that the subject has never been discussed in my present /ce/ . I have seen several of our common friends, but it has been in mixed company, when
delicacy on all sides caused a complete silence to be maintained People knowing my
attachment to you and the degree of intimacy with which you honour me has hitherto
prevented my being asked any questions which would have involved difficulty in the
answer.*
Mr. Way
is here now on a visit of some days
. He is gone to day to preach at
Mr. Boak
’s little Church at
Brockley.*
I was sorry that neither the health of my self or Sisters permitted us to accompany
him. He was disappointed I believe but was too humble to take it ill, or rather too reasonable
to be dissatisfied with what is in fact a dispensation of Providence.
I began this scrawl several days ago as you will see by the dates, but indisposition
and other interruptions have prevented my finishing it. Our Seraphic friend Way has left us. He seems to me not so much to be going to heaven
but to be already there.
I am a little alarmed for him, tho his Mind is perfectly well, yet he is so compleatly
absorbed in the great Object* he has in hand that I fear it will wear him out.
His Mind is so imbued, I may say so saturated with Scripture that one does not want
one’s Bible whence he is. We kept him very quiet, but in no company that he might
gain rest and composure as he is gone on to preach at several Churches in this district.
We had talked of you in public in a general way as to your health, where you were
&c – but before his departure I took him aside and asked if he had heard from
you lately, and when you were coming to
Clifton. He set my mind much at rest by saying he had not heard anything about you for some
time; now as he was just come from
Bath, Clifton &c I comforted myself that the thing is not so much discussed as you feared.
I have also seen
the
Powis’s who dined here
but not a word was said which might lead to the Subject.
I trust this transient cloud will soon be dispersed and your mind restored to its
firm tone, I should rather say your nerves, for your mind seems to have possessed
its full vigour in this transaction
I have no impertinent curiosity but shall be gratified to know hereafter, that all terminated to your satisfaction I am grateful to God that the young person
herself has conducted herself so unexceptionably. Such an experience may tend to strengthen
her character beyond a hundred fine theories.
My good friend
Miss Frowd
is so kind as to take the pen from me,
as my eyes are not
equal to say more
than that I am
my
dear Madam
faithfully yours
H More
When have I written so long a Scrawl? But I am
not willing our correspondence should dwindle on my part. – You cannot image how
overdone I am with letters – when I am very poorly I sit and moon over the unanswered heap instead of
taking courage and getting rid of the debt: It hardly leaves me any time for
reading; especially when my Eyes are bad – they are better thank
/God/ .
I own I do not feel disposed to make Hazard any compensation for what I know has been
a gainful business to him. He thinks there is a deal of money and he may get a
share. I will give you an instance of his covetousness.
He has just recommd. to
me his Nephew as Master of my new School at
Wedmore with
a high character. His /Man/ has been in trade and faild for want of Capital. As
usual I found I must pay his debts before I coud get him, but he and his wife
seemd such superior people I thought it right to put up with this /loss./ It was
30 or 40£ – I proposed to Hazd. to advance £15 only which
he was to be repaid but he refused for so near a relation and has thrown the
debt in my hands. I must pay £25 or lose the Man To help out this /Expence/
I assure
you I refused to have any medical Assistance after my Accident for being so
far from Bristol I know it wou’d cost a great
deal.
I have been long wishing to write to
you but was prevented [deletion] by many weeks of disqualifying fever and its attendant
sufferings.
Thro the mercy of God I am much better, that is I am
got back nearly to my usual state of moderate suffering.
My Sister
Patty is
very poorly with that alarming determination of blood to the
head which is so much the reigning complaint.
May it please our
infinitely gracious God by these awakening calls to remind us how short our time is,
and to prepare us for a change which must soon take place!
It is now some time since dear
Mrs Hanh. More
has quite ceased from corresponding with her Friends, she has therefore requested
me to assure your Ladyship of the very great pleasure with which she received
the late kind & affecte. Communication from one whom she remembers with such unfeigned esteem
& regard.
Of those Friends indeed whom she yet does retain in her memory she has the most kind
& warm recollections, but it is the Will of the Almighty that this faculty of her mind should visibly & rather rapidly decline; its amiable qualities
however remain in full vigour, & as her benevolence is still exercised in a degree
only limited by the very utmost extent of her pecuniary ability, her prolonged life
is a great blessing to very many. The recollections too of the truly beneficial purposes to which she employed her
fine intellect when it was in full vigour, must endear her to all who estimate talents
only as their influence is exerted for the glory of the great Grace, & the benefit
of His creatures –
she has still many cheerful spirits & is very open to enjoyment & to the attentions
of those immediate friends who surround her, with whom she is generally able to converse
Collectedly & very pleasantly but as
the introduction of Strangers now bewilders & fatigues her, it is deemed, by those who love her best & therefore consider her most, advisable
to admit none but very old & intimate acquaintances to intercourse with her, altho’
to enforce such a restriction requires (it is found) a very Strenuous and determined
effort, & brings upon
Miss Frowd, the kind & affecte. friend who constantly lives with her, some reproach & ill will
.
My Sister & myself inhabit a house not fifty Yards from her abode,* & see her some part of most days, indeed are frequently her intimates.
When your Ladyships letter arrived this dear & revered friend was confined to her
bed by
a pretty severe attack upon her Chest, which detained her there nearly Six Weeks; but she is now restored to nearly her
usual strength, & has entirely left her chamber, she is perfectly reconciled to her change of Residence* indeed that was the case very soon after the agitating event took place, & she enjoys
the sight of the beautiful Rocks & Woods* from her Window, at least as fully as she did the rural scenery of
Barley Wood. She enters enough into public concerns to lament the Religious apathy on the one
hand, & the Religious differences on the other, which mark these portentous times,
but above all, is her mind distracted & grieved at the Spreading & Systematic desecration
of the [tear]th so deplorable in a country which calls [tear]. She was able also to
afford her full tribut[e of] [tear] praise to the righteous & truly patriotic courage
which abolished Sutticism:*
Oh would to God she might yet before her departure have to rejoice also over the abolition
of the AntiXtian flagitious System of Colonial Slavery or at least could have the
comfort of seeing every Bishop in this land maintaining a public & stedfast opposition
to this violation of every Xtian precept, in his legislative capacity
– Dear Mrs. H More desires me to convey her most affectionate regards & acknowledgements, & with
my Sister’s cordial respects I have the honour to remain with much esteem
I am happy to be enabled (thro’ Divine Mercy) to say that this dear venerable Friend
enjoys a greater share of health than was perhaps at any former period of her life
allotted to her, & altho’ her memory visibly & almost daily declines, yet her sweet
& kind affections, her placidity, her desire to make all around her happy, & her readiness,
nay eagerness to distribute for every pious & benevolent purpose, remains in fuller
vigour than ever, & render the mild lustre of her setting Sun most lovely & attractive:
&
your Ladyship will be happy to hear, that at times when she has thought herself about
to be called to her Heavenly Rest, she has expressed her entire willingness to depart,
& her fine & sure hope of Salvation thro’ the alone merits of her Redeemer
–
